Play Tweakers

This is more so a are we the assholes since it involves my sister’s kids as well.

Our mom is with a man who she was with previously. The relationship ended because she found out her secretly turned her location on her phone and was basically stalking her. While they were not together they remained in semi contact on a cordial level. Also, while they were apart he got a fairly large abdomen tattoo dedicated to her.

This was a few years ago, and apparently since they have been separated he’s gone through therapy to work through his trust issues from a past marriage. He and my mother got back together (I believe) around Christmas 2025.

Bringing us to this weekend. My mon was set to babysit my sister’s two kids. When mom showed up at her house, this guy was with her (drove separately) without my sister’s prior knowledge. My sister immediately called me because I was supposed to drop my daughter off to hang out as well. My sister nor I are comfortable with this guy around our kids without us present. It has nothing to do with trusting our mom, but everything to do with not trusting him. I personally find what he did years ago legitimately dangerous and borderline sociopathic.

I got to my sister’s house and while mom was outside with the kids we were trying to figure out how to handle this. We decided to pull mom in the kitchen and talk. Simply started with asking if he was staying, and when she confirmed we both said something along the lines of “we’re not comfortable with that”, I even brought up the point of I thought what he did was dangerous and I do not want him around my kid(s) without me around.

Without skipping a beat mom’s words were “then I’m leaving”. No talk. no discussion. She just walked away. I shouted out “we’re really not going to talk about this”, and she came back.

It came to what you expect. She tried saying we don’t trust her, he is there to help her, and all that. We reiterated that it’s not HER we don’t trust, it’s HIM. We asked what if he tried to overpower you? She laughed that off kind of. I admit that is a drastic example, but that’s where my sister’s and I heads are at. Our kids are 1, 3, and 9.

What shocked us both is mom actually left. Extremely hurt by her doing that I threw out “I hope you know this decision is you picking this man over spending a few hours with your grandkids”, and she said “no it’s not” then got in her car and left.

I ended up staying with my niece and nephew for the couple hours so my sister and BIL could have their date night.

This all happened 24 hours ago. We still haven’t heard from mom, and expect a whole ordeal to come of it. We don’t know what to do if we don’t hear from her before mother’s day.