Play Tweakers

My girlfriend has depression and most of the time it's managed quite well. One thing I've noticed about her though is that she seems to weaponise her illness to get her own way or to cancel plans for things I've chosen for us.

Some minor examples are when we'll be sat at home on an evening and I'll suggest something for us to do or for us to watch and she'll immediately say she's not feeling great and that she wants to do something else instead. If I say I don't want to do what she suggests then she'll just go quiet and refuse to do anything else.

Some bigger examples are when we have plans for things I've chosen, she'll either cancel last minute saying she feels low or we'll get there and she'll want to leave pretty much straight away. This has not happened once with things she chooses to do.

Another example is that we were at my nephews wedding at the weekend and things were going fine, she kept asking if we could sit somewhere quieter instead of with a large group of my family.

I pointed out we weren't there to just sit in a corner and I want to actually talk to my family. After about an hour she said she wasn't feeling great so we'd have to go. The next day she refused to talk about it but I just told her it really looks like she's weaponising her depression to get out of anything that she specifically hasn't chosen to do.

She said I was being too harsh but I just pointed out that she's regularly using the excuse of feeling low to get her own way and that she ruined the previous night by complaining for the entire time we were there then leaving early just because it wasn't her family.

She said again I was being cruel but I just pointed out she needs to stop using her illness as an excuse to always get her own way and said she's acting like a child.

AIW for telling her to stop weaponising her depression