Play Tweakers

Last week I drove my friend to her doctors appointment, shes been getting ketamine infusions for crps. I’m off one day a week-mondays and so I agreed to take her since her dad couldn’t take more days off of work (her mother is basically absent from her life and her two sisters barely speak to her- they seem to not have a good relationship). I have tried my best to be there for her but it is like every conversation is about her, I couldn’t ever say a word about my life. Anytime I did mention something about my life (dating, traveling, friends etc.) She would get “triggered” and stressed out because she can’t do certain things because of her illness. She forgot my birthday two years in a row and I still gave her grace cause I knew she was dealing with this. So I understood all of that and tried to refrain from talking about me too much but as anyone can imagine it became very very onesided and mentally draining.

But back to the car ride, we went and it was a hour and a half drive there. I sit there for 2 hours as she gets the infusion, then we start the drive back a hour later after shes more awake. We hit a lot of traffic at this time cause it was rush hour, I was frustrated with the traffic and wasn’t in a good mood. She asked if I was okay and I said “I feel like this is taking 10 years off my life” (was being sarcastic as I despise traffic).

Then as we were driving she kept mentioning “next time” and mentioning about me bringing her again. I said to her “honestly I’m sorry but I don’t think I will be able to do this often” (I didn’t want her to think I was willing to do this every week on my day off since her dad cannot take more days off work). It took up my whole day, I have a brand new car I just bought and don’t want to put miles on it doing this drive and driving it in the city as people drive wreckless there. I told her all of that and she resorted to “you don’t care about me” “you’re a bad friend” “its one day for you its been years of pain for me”.

I tried to come up with solutions for her as I told her this isn’t realistic for anyone including her family (is there anywhere closer, can we take the train- as I was willing to take the train with her etc.) And she told me that me making suggestions was “triggering” to her cause I don’t understand her illness. Honestly at that point I gave up and just stopped arguing with her cause she was hysterically crying and I was exhausted. Her dad sent me $90 for tolls and gas and she kept bringing that up, even called him hysterically crying making it seem like I was “so mean” to her. I told her the money was beside the point, I wanted to do it for her since I care but its too much for me due to those reasons I mentioned before but would like to help her find a different solution.